Did you know? It’s your RIGHT to access reproductive healthcare without being intimidated or terrorized.
Anonymous asked: Do you have pictures that show his neck at absolute advantage? I'm in love with basically everything about him but right now I can't stop thinking about his beautiful neck.
I JUST WANNA PUT MY MOUTH ALL OVER IT
is that weird?
No. No it isn’t. Shhhhhh
FINALLY. FROM CHURNING MAGMA AND BILLOWING GASES I HAVE SHAPED AND MOLDED THIS PARADISE. ALL THAT REMAINS IS TO POPULATE IT WITH CREATURES MADE IN MY IMAGE. I DON’T WANT THEM TO HAVE TO WORK OR FORAGE FOR FOOD, THOUGH, SO I SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE SOME KIND OF ANNOYING, IGNORANT, SELF DESTRUCTIVE AND NEUROTIC BIPEDAL ASSHOLES WHOSE INTENSE LONELINESS EVEN IN THE MIDST OF THEIR OWN KIND WILL COMPEL THEM TO SHELTER, FEED, ADORE AND PAMPER MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN.
Anywhere I want?
AS LONG AS IT’S NOT INSIDE A HOUSE IT’S FAIR GAME. THAT’S HOW I’VE COME TO UNDERSTAND IT.
What about cleanup?
NOT YOUR CONCERN. SOMEONE COMES ALONG WITH A BAG.
I KNOW, IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I SWEAR IT’S TRUE.
MY GOD, YOU’RE SO SQUISHY.
SAMUEL, YOU SLIMEBALL. KISS ME AGAIN.
I COULD GET LOST FOREVER IN YOUR FLAPS AND FOLDS.
STOP TALKING AND TAKE ME, SAMUEL. FILL ME WITH CHILDREN, NOT JUST POETRY.
YES! AND YOU AS WELL, SHEILA. AFTER ALL, OUR HERMAPHRODITIC REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEMS ALLOW FOR MUTUAL FERTILIZATION.
THAT’S SO SEXY.
mom, dad, im gay. im very gay. haha tricked you i mean gay as in happy. pretty happy to have another mans dick in my ass
"We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity"
Um ok but I don’t recall my virginity having 16 GB of memory with all my contacts, music, photos, calendars, and apps or costing over $200.
my phone is an expensive and important material object and not a useless social construct put in place to shame and commodify women
Plus I remember where I lost my virginity.
When Oscar Wilde was asked to list his 100 favourite books he said he couldn’t because “I have only written five”.
Don’t forget his famous last words:
“Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.”
You, I like.
Also “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
And “Sometimes I’m so clever I have no idea what i’m saying.”
Ten rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.