FINALLY. FROM CHURNING MAGMA AND BILLOWING GASES I HAVE SHAPED AND MOLDED THIS PARADISE. ALL THAT REMAINS IS TO POPULATE IT WITH CREATURES MADE IN MY IMAGE. I DON’T WANT THEM TO HAVE TO WORK OR FORAGE FOR FOOD, THOUGH, SO I SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE SOME KIND OF ANNOYING, IGNORANT, SELF DESTRUCTIVE AND NEUROTIC BIPEDAL ASSHOLES WHOSE INTENSE LONELINESS EVEN IN THE MIDST OF THEIR OWN KIND WILL COMPEL THEM TO SHELTER, FEED, ADORE AND PAMPER MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN.
Anywhere I want?
AS LONG AS IT’S NOT INSIDE A HOUSE IT’S FAIR GAME. THAT’S HOW I’VE COME TO UNDERSTAND IT.
What about cleanup?
NOT YOUR CONCERN. SOMEONE COMES ALONG WITH A BAG.
I KNOW, IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I SWEAR IT’S TRUE.
MY GOD, YOU’RE SO SQUISHY.
SAMUEL, YOU SLIMEBALL. KISS ME AGAIN.
I COULD GET LOST FOREVER IN YOUR FLAPS AND FOLDS.
STOP TALKING AND TAKE ME, SAMUEL. FILL ME WITH CHILDREN, NOT JUST POETRY.
YES! AND YOU AS WELL, SHEILA. AFTER ALL, OUR HERMAPHRODITIC REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEMS ALLOW FOR MUTUAL FERTILIZATION.
THAT’S SO SEXY.
mom, dad, im gay. im very gay. haha tricked you i mean gay as in happy. pretty happy to have another mans dick in my ass
"We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity"
Um ok but I don’t recall my virginity having 16 GB of memory with all my contacts, music, photos, calendars, and apps or costing over $200.
my phone is an expensive and important material object and not a useless social construct put in place to shame and commodify women
Plus I remember where I lost my virginity.
When Oscar Wilde was asked to list his 100 favourite books he said he couldn’t because “I have only written five”.
Don’t forget his famous last words:
“Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.”
You, I like.
Also “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
And “Sometimes I’m so clever I have no idea what i’m saying.”
Ten rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
That second gif is not ok
↳ 5x07 - Do you sometimes cry because you remember how much Merlin adores Arthur?
It got better.
So all the time on this website I see how it’s acceptable to post pictures in bikinis so it should be acceptable to post pictures in bras. My logic is if it’s acceptable for skinny guys to parade around in underwear, fat guys should be able to too.
But that’s not what this post is about. This is about my 2nd grade teacher, who told me it “wouldn’t be a surprise if I got diabetes”. This is about the flag football coach who made me run stairs because I was “too fat to run with the other kids.” This is about the girls who asked me why I wore Hollister when it was obvious they were too tight on my stomach. This is about my dad, who bought me a year long gym membership for Christmas when I asked for a goddamn Playstation.
More than that, goddammit this is about you. This is about you and everyone else who has ever hated your body. Because I’m telling you you are fucking beautiful. You, right now, are fucking majestic. Love yourself. Love your thunder thighs, even if they make you want to wear long shorts. Love your chicken legs, even if everyone says you look emaciated. Love your pimples, they’re fucking natural. Love your crooked teeth, because a crooked smile is the best smile.
This post isn’t about forcing you to look at me half-naked (though I know I’m quite the sight.) It’s about being body fucking positive, no matter who you are. One day someone’s going to plow you on a coffee table (or you’re gonna plow them idk) and they’re not gonna say “You really need to exercise.” They’re going to say “Again please.
and if any of you white people respond with “wait but I didn’t do that. that was in the past”
i need you to check your privilege
and then drink bleach if you think your hands aren’t dirty
Guilt doesn’t transfer from generation to generation. I am not magically accountable for something my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather MIGHT have done. Also;
>social justice blogger
>telling people to kill themselves
I love that there’s a blog called “this is white culture” that is solely devoted to bad things white people did, not their cultures at all. So I guess I can make a blog called “this is black culture” and post gang and crime records and that’s 100% okay. Or “this is Muslim culture” and make it all about terrorism.
But wait, you cry. Not all black people are criminals and not all Muslims are terrorists. That’s unfair! And racist!
WELL GOLLY GEE DO YOU THINK SO? Because saying that all white people are responsible for the Atlantic slave trade sounds pretty racist to me, given that, you know, that was between the African slaveholders and the British and Americans and had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my ancestors, who were incredibly poor farmers and serfs from Ireland and Lithuania who had to flee to America at around the turn of the century (by which time slavery had already been abolished in the US) because they were being treated like slaves. Even if they had been living in America at the time when slavery was legal they wouldn’t have been able to afford a slave; in fact they probably would have been working with them in the fields and treated about the same, since the first slaves in America were actually white serfs. But please, tell me more about how dirty my hands are because of circumstances surrounding my birth that I could not control and continue to treat me differently based on the color of my skin without actually knowing anything about my heritage, I’m sure that isn’t racist at all!